Love Without Approval

I want to know how to truly love someone without approving of their actions, words, choices, etc. It is harder than it should be.  Everyone I have talked to looks at me as if my head were on backwards. They shrug an "I don't know' and admit that they handle those situations by not handling them at all. Knowing that others struggle with this brings me little comfort, yet at least I am not the only one failing in class.
It has been my practice in the past to shut down communication for a while.  Making silence my weapon was a poor choice, but that habit was repeated simply because it was the easiest way to show disapproval, hoping that the person in question would rather give in to my wishes than keep the tension between us.  Sadly, my method often worked and shame on me for it..  (These moments of confession come with much apprehension.  I hope you will write a blog someday and spill your guts on my behalf.)
Anyway, what I was actually conveying to the other person was, "I love you when you are lovable and doing as I wish. Now please stay inside the boundaries I have in place so I can love you."  It was performance based love and according to scripture - not love at all.
I want to love, period.  For one reason only: Because Jesus loved, loves, and will love - me.  He did not put any conditions on my behavior, looks, choices, or words when He chose to love me. He saw the worst in me and He just loved me and kept on loving me into obedience.
This lesson has become so very real to me over the past eighteen months.  My faith has been challenged, my love for others tested, and it has caused me to come face to face with my failures. The bottom line is that I can't love, can't have faith, and can't succeed in gaining these things on my own.
When I realized that love can't be won, or manipulated, or guilted into existence, then I had only one choice left and that was to just love.  In spite of all the obstacles I see Lord, let me love.  Astonish me, teach me, overwhelm me with the ability to love in the face of any opposition.
I will leave the approving part up to You.
Man is not what he does, looks like, or chooses...not really.  These things are temporal and easily changed.  When a soul is at stake, bypass the external and reach for the heart.  Love.