Changes

Thunder in the distance soon gave way to rain. It described exactly how I felt so I let go of everything I had been squelching inside. Standing on the patio and looking around me, I saw sweet memories....and some dead plants begging to be freed from the ground's grip...another day.
It was Change - the faceless enemy, my enemy. It is constantly at my side in a world that refuses to stop for a minute.  It's my bittersweet companion.
Going back to bed on a day like this would be so easy...but it would yield nothing productive and wayward thoughts would cripple me further and plunge me deeper into avoiding life. We all have our ways of dealing with unwanted burdens... mostly by not dealing with them at all.  Avoidance was a habit that needed breaking.
So instead, with very little enthusiasm, I did the normal things of every day life: dishes, laundry, vacuuming, mopping and then something wonderful happened.  (No, there was no jumping about with joy and spontaneity.)  When my mood did not rule me, and I decided to 'do' instead of 'be'...grace took over.
So - what if Change is actually one of the tools God is using to draw me closer to Him? What if my face is towards His more often when my heart hurts?  Perhaps I am looking at this all wrong. What if the very thing that grieves me most is the very thing He is using for my good? There is nothing under the sun that can't be used by God for good.
Okay Lord... restructure me, shape me, mold me, change me.  Teach me that with Your help I do have control over my words, thoughts, and actions. Teach me that something very good can come from all the things over which I have no control.  Help me to embrace them and treat them as gifts from You.
Sometimes life is difficult. How foolish of me to always run from the unknown. We cannot know our own potentials without challenges and challenges don't come without changes.

Daniel 2:20-22  Daniel answered and said: "Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding; he reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him. 
Did you see that last line? "He knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him."
He knows what is in my darkness and He brings the light.