Dealing with Darkness

Today I talked with a young woman who struggles frequently with extreme anxiety and depression. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon.  Emotional trauma is difficult to define and treat, but none of our inner trials are foreign to the Lord.  Everything we deal with here on earth has already been experienced and conquered by our Lord Jesus on the cross.  Sin died there.
God's ear was often bent to hear David's cries, Solomon's repeated declarations of the vanity of life, and the whines of Jonah and Elijah. God invites us to cry out to Him. Why would He ask us to do something that we might feel incapable of doing due to the darkness in our souls? Because He knew we would experience periods of deep aloneness and vulnerability.  Our woes are specifically designed to keep our faces turned toward His.
Bottomless valleys are the hardest to travel.  We lose our footing and grope in very real moments of blackened agony because we have forgotten that our Maker is incapable of looking away.  His constant gaze is given little merit when panic sets in...but He is there.  HE IS ALWAYS THERE.
I have not been able to find the key to unlock the pattern that paralyzes some people. It isn't that they are forever disabled by this unseen plague, but that when it arises, no solution, no words, no logic can penetrate the unknown that holds them captive.  At least I have not discovered it.
All I know for certain is that God and His word do not change.  If grabbing this truth can somehow bring the tiniest glimmer of light into the situation, then at least part of the darkness must die. Light dispels darkness, and darkness can never dim the light.
2 Samuel 22:29   For you are my lamp, O LORD, and my God lightens my darkness. 
As believers we can be sure that He is with us in our blackness, though it may be a fight to bring that fact to the surface on a dark day. Feelings will lie to us and can't always be trusted, especially concerning spiritual matters. The truth in Scripture is not dependent on how we might feel at a particular time...because our emotions are unstable and unreliable when allowed to go unchecked. Until we are able to read God's word and gently place our faith there instead of following the negative bent of worst case scenarios, we are enslaving ourselves once again to the beckoning gloom. We must recognize that we have an Anchor. Instead of being tossed to and fro by fears, there is an immovable, unshakeable buttress that holds fast at bay the evils that desire to undo us.
I do not suffer these attacks as some do, but I see how crippling and dibilating they are.  I can only remind them of a Savior who promises to keep His children in His watchful eye - One that would walk with them through ANY fierce abandonment of spiritual reality they might face.
Our Sovereign God sees, knows, and has conquered all manner of darkness. On a cross He suffered separation from all that is good and holy that we might know abundant life. Stand firm in your faith. This battle has been won and the victory is His alone. Embrace the love of your Savior.

The Planetarium and Percy

"The heavens declare the glory of God"...Psalm 19:1

I can recall going to the planetarium with huge groups of children on school buses. The room was filled with a dull, but high pitched roar as the boys and girls eagerly waited for the dome over us to burst with stars.  Planetariums must not hold much attraction these days, as only a fraction of the seats were filled on the day we went.  Our spokesman was excellent though, and after I snapped a couple of non-flash pictures, we all had to shut off our phones.

I don't know about you, but I don't get constellations.  Of course I have not studied them at all, so maybe that's part of the problem.  The dippers look like dippers.  Easy.  But all the mythical pictures do not in any way look like what they are supposed to portray.  Honestly.  But again, ignorance is my excuse.
We were told that in tens of billions of years, all of this would explode and blah, blah, blah. (Sorry.) When people speak of mind-numbing calculations without considering God and His providential rule, I tend to disengage.  Emma, on the other hand, took it all to heart and is worried about something that would happen billions of years from now, if at all.  This is Emma.
Me:  Emma, do not believe everything that science says about beginnings and endings of the world. Did God make Adam a baby?
Emma:  No, He made him a man.
Me:  Right.  He made man with age, and so He made the world to be as old as He needed it to be - filled wtih full grown plants, grown animals, and all else according to His holy will.
Emma:  (Light bulb moment) That's right!
Though I do not have all the answers by any means, I rest in the fact that God does.  He goes before me and will come after me, ordaining what comes to pass in my world.  Good enough for me.
After star gazing, we headed to the park for a picnic...and Percy showed up.

The tables were taken so we threw our blanket on the ground and set our food out.  It wasn't long until we discovered we were not alone.  Percy - as Emma named him - scurried over to us without the slightest hesitation.  Hmm.  This guy has been around picnics before...and his belly gave evidence. Bella tossed him the crust from her sandwich and he gratefully took it, walked over to a tree root and sat down as if in his easy chair.

I don't know why this made me laugh.  I think we were on his turf and he was right at home with us.

Bella  

Ivy at the park.

Ivy on her turf.

It was a great day of stars and squirrel. Percy wasn't worried about the world's end and neither are we.  I know the One who decides what happens concerning all that.  I need to worry whether I am doing today all I can do for His glory.

I wish you all squirrels with every picnic in life!

Providence, Pokemon, and a PD James Paperback

I try to share something with merit when I write, even if the message is simple. You will have to dig deep to find any kind of jewel or nugget in this post.
Honestly, I think people are just looking to escape the alarming things going on the in the world by creating a maze of traffic stops in order to gain points while playing an online Pokemon game. After delivering some papers to Tommy at work (he is a pastor), I noticed two teenage boys walking through the pasture behind our church.  They were meandering around as if they had lost something.
We have since discovered that our church property is a Pokemon site, and people come and go all day as they register on their phones that they visited our field behind the parking lot. In one day, forty cars came and went.
Last Wednesday night after prayer meeting, we were standing outside as cars drove in and out.  It occurred to us that this was an opportunity.  We could invite them to church and hand out waters during the day.  Sometimes we must go to the people, and sometimes the Lord brings them to us...even through a ridiculous creature like Pokemon.

One policeman who attends our church said that he pulled over a woman at 2am because she was suspiciously parked in Deer Park.  Her response was that her daughter had more points than she did in Pokemon and so she was driving around to the sites designated online in the middle of the night in order to win.  I'm telling you...people are desperate for something meaningful in their lives. I can only shake my head and move on to my own outlet for entertainment.
My son, Luke lives in Utah and before that, he was in Iowa. We have enjoyed vacationing wherever he and his family have lived.  He is a music professor and a mystery lover like his mother. (I am a mystery lover, not a music professor.) Over the past five years or so, whenever we plan a visit, we decide on a mystery to read, but we do not read the last chapter.  We state our cases for who we think the villain is and then we finish the book together after we arrive.  We picked a PD James book this time.  She was an English author and some of her books have been made into BBC television series.  We used to read Agatha Christie, but in truth I have read all of her books and seen the movies made from them, so we needed to find someone new.. We chose PD James after researching her style and found that she was less gruesome than some of the newer writers. Still, she has surprised us a little in that regard and I have slept with the nightlight on more than a few times.
Luke and I have shared our thoughts on 'whodunnit', though both our theories have holes in them. His wife, YuJueng has not read to the stopping point, but it is likely that she will add a third hypothesis to our two.
Summer is quickly coming to an end as school supplies have already shown up on the store shelves. Tax-free weekend is just within reach and soon the idle days of Pokemon and paperbacks will cease. Until they do, let's take any opportunity the Lord brings our way to turn silly games into life changing moments.  Happy Summer!

Tell Me Something Good About Yourself...in Prison

Recently I was asked to teach in the prison again...only this time I went alone because Linda was in Oregon meeting her new granddaughter.  Can you believe it? (I get to go meet mine in August!) Anyway...
After logging in, signing for the key, picking up the video and sign-in sheet, I carried a fan over with me to the faith based dorm.  We meet in a room set up for teaching, but it is very poorly air conditioned - hence the fan - and the ladies hate coming in there.  I do not blame them at all, but I was afraid none would show up with Linda gone.  To my surprise nineteen entered with water bottles in tow and paper fans in hand.
They strategically placed themselves as close to the fan as possible, but to little avail.  It was just hot. I stood behind the fan, allowing them to get all the air they could. Still we all wore red faces, sweat dripping down our necks. What did I expect?  It's prison.
This group had been difficult to engage in conversation as I had been there the week before preparing for my solo lesson.  So I decided to try and break the silence.  I asked them to tell me one good thing about themselves - an ability, a quality, or some part of their physical appearance they liked.  Often it is easier to name our downfalls and obviously with them being incarcerated, they could have talked about those, but I wanted to hear them say something redeeming about themselves.
They were stumped.  Finally one girl said, "I am honest and speak my mind."
Well okay, I thought. That is not always positive, but to her it was.
The next girl said she was a good organizer.  Another said she was a good listener.
And then the room fell silent.  I pressed for them to continue and they just shrugged.  That's when something sweet and tender began to happen.  They started telling each other what they saw in them, encouraging them with such kindness.
"You are good at painting."
"You are always happy."
"You do your job really good without complaining."
Soon they picked up the trend and started naming their own strengths again.
It touched my heart just to hear them.  We went on with class and the topic was victimization.  This is a really hard lesson to talk about, but we did.  They told me they had built walls around themselves and allowed no one in.  They were honest.
I told them of God's great love for His children and that there is nothing they could ever do to hinder that.  Ever.  They just stared at me with unknowing faces.
They handed in their homework and as I walked to the car, I thought about the things they said about themselves and each other.  I prayed that God would show them who He is in such a way that they might know His goodness and great love.  Many in prison repeat their offenses and return.  It is a hard cycle to break.
There is a field next to the parking lot.  Most prisons are in the middle of nowhere for good reason.  I always watch the horses as they graze.  Today they came to see me.

I am accutely aware each time I visit the prison that 'there but for the grace of God, might I be.' Instead, I'm there by choice.  May the Lord be in every bunk, drawing them to know His Son Jesus and break free from the sin that so easily grips them.

The 4th!!

We had our annual 4th of July celebration last Monday at the Littlejohns'.  I think there were more people than ever in attendance.  I was feeling less than enthusiastic and patriotic due to an overloaded schedule, but fun is contagious and I managed to snap some pix of the reds, the whites, and the blues. PBC people know how to party!

Karen and Marlon live a half block from the water, but Tommy and I headed for home before the fireworks over the bay began. We are thankful for our church and all the bright and happy faces that come with it.  We are more thankful for the Spirit that unites us in love and the joys and trials we share together.  Our blessings are many and our cups overflow.  Happy Fourth, y'all!

Loving - Neighbors, Enemies, Family, and Those Other People

We aren't born knowing how to love others. We are born selfish and sinful in nature and a natural bent is difficult to alter. We seek what pleases us most from infancy upward. It's called "me-ism."
It is said that people who are loved easily love others.  I have not found that to always be true.
Many who are loved, just want more love without giving any in return.  And there are others who have never been loved, but are able to give it with such amazing generosity.  So, what is the key?  I really don't know. The bible tells us there is nothing good in man. (see Romans 3)  Some are just able to accept others at face value and see the best in them. Often it is the Christians that reject first, inspect second, and then decide if someone is worthy of their time.  Man is incapable of good without Christ because his attempts are marred by sin.  Christians are just marred people on their way to heaven; forgiven, but not left to themselves.  They are being tried by fire in order to refine them into the image of Christ and somewhere along they way, they experience what it is to be loved so that they might have the ability to love others unconditionally.  Some of us are not very good at it...yet.
What I've learned is: Love wins - not necessarily for the one on the receiving end, but for the one on the giving end. Those who choose to love win.  They have peace and forgive easily. They are unselfish. They love because they want to love. Lovers win.
When I was in early adulthood, I began to feel the tug of the world more and more.  There was a strong attraction to all the things so common to man: the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. I could not understand why the struggle was there in the first place, if I was a believer. Why wasn't it easier to whole heartedly follow Christ?  I wanted to be free from all temptations.

Believers are free.  They are free to not sin.  They are free to freely love others, but it doesn't happen overnight. God does not mature us all at once. He intends to grow us up and will use all manner of circumstances to weed out the...well, weeds in our lives.
By the way, weeds are not people. You cannot wish anyone out of your life.  It's dangerous to limit your world to those that either meet with your approval or have some positive purpose for your pleasure. Often the one you want banished from your kingdom is the very one God wants to use in shaping you for His use in the future. People are part of those circumstances He brings into our lives to create changes in us, bring us to maturity, and help us recognize that no man is an island. As annoying as people can be, they are even more a blessing.  Just remember, you were not born with a halo on your head, either.
Enemies date back to Cain and Abel, Isaac and Ishmael.  Hatred and fear are fed by hatred and fear. They breed and breed again. The media paints a bleak picture of the world most of the time. I'm not hiding my head in anyone's sand, it's just that there is always more to focus on than man against man, country against country, politician against politician.
God's love flowing from His throne is perfect and unshakeable.  My love flowing back to God and out to others is incomplete and shallow, though He continues to teach me every day. I am not aware of my enemies, but maybe that just means I am not as outspoken about my faith as I should be. I hope when the occasion arises and animosity is vocalized, that I will respond with love.

Sometimes we must be steered down difficult paths in order to learn our lessons.  Learning to love regardless of circumstances is a tough one.  I didn't know how bad I was at it, until my world was rocked by the decisions of others.  God has used my lowest points of despair to show me His deepest joy.  I had to let go and stop trying to rule. I am not, was not, and will not be in control...of anyone ever.
God alone knows what choices I will make and what choices others will make that will hurt me personally. He doesn't remove them; He ordains them. He orchestrates just the right circumstances so that I will be unable to handle them on my own. When I run to Jesus for help, He is there to teach me...about me and no one else. Love is learned.
So I found this attachment that says perfectly what I hope to be able to say personally.  I intend to reach this goal because Christ wants me to.  He wants you to as well.  I AM going to love them, as well as the narrow-minded, the hypocrit, the Pharisee, the snob.  These are labels we stamp on others.  As Christ loved me, so I will love others.

Living Under Grace

Romans 6:11-14  So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. 
I am under grace. Grace is getting what I do not deserve.   From the dictionary - Grace: (In Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation and bestowal of blessings. Beautiful.
The world tells us that we are important enough to have our own space, that we deserve all the internet we can possess, and that self-improvement, self-importance, and self-exaltation are not only normal, but inherent rights...but inherent from who?  Are these things what we really deserve?
What is wrong with this picture? Why is grace given to undeserving people? 'How can these things be?' as Nicodemus once asked.
John 3:8-9 (Jesus said) "The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." Nicodemus said to him, "How can these things be?" 
Is it true that to be first, I must be last?
How does a soft answer turn away wrath?
Where is the benefit in loving my enemies?
How can I do more with 90% of my earnings than I could with 100%?
How can I overcome evil with good?
How does pruning produce growth?
How can I gain everything by losing all?
We live in a world of perversion and convenience.  We are bombarded with lies that sound pretty good, but as Christians, we are called to another standard...a different one, designed by God.
Angels in heaven do not experience grace.  It is for those who have placed their faith in Jesus for the removal of sins.  It is for those who repent. Living under grace means our sins are not accounted to us. Jesus paid the debt demanded to appease God's wrath.  He was/is God's gift to us. God supplied the perfect once for all sacrificial Lamb that would die in our places. God gave us the Means by which we can be saved and we are under grace until Christ returns or calls us home.
The world will always offer us beauty and riches along with pain and suffering. Because we are under grace, we can offer the world an answer for the hope that lies within us...no matter what.
Romans 3:20-25  For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin. But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it - the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. 
No matter who you are, the gift of grace can be yours, if by faith you trust in Christ as Savior.