Hello In December

December has been a blank slate for me - like fresh snow with no tracks.  It isn't that life did not show up to give me inspiration, but there comes a time when life stands still.  We must take in what it offers when we would really prefer to run hard in any direction. Such has been my month. There was no hole in which to hide, no window offering a better view, no relief from heartache.

God had me right where He wanted me as a broken, helpless mess.  He loves things that cannot hold any value of their own aside from Him. 

Dawn arrives not a minute too soon for the lessons we must learn, nor a moment too late for survival.  We can be thankful for devastating, debilitating events that knock us for a loop and leave us in wastelands. We will always find our Maker there beside us.

Many go through struggles that last a lifetime. Some only days, with lingering effects. All of them are longer than we would like them to be. Mine brought out the worst in me. So, this Christmas my gift to Jesus is me at my worst. He actually wants that. So I'm sticking a bow on my forehead and crawling before the throne in pieces that He will mend and use for His glory alone.
My December has improved with passing days as all trials get easier with time. I am a better person having gone through it.
We are all scarred and broken people.
God sent us a Healer that our scars might have meaning one day. 

2 Corinthians 4:7  But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 

Psalm 51:17  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. 

Here are some pictures of my December in the aftermath.

Anne of Green Gables in my bed.

Legos

Checkers and Chess

Monopoly marathon.

Baking Day.

My helper Elin.

And to all a good night!
Merry Christmas!

What's In Your Garbage?

I'm not even sure at this point what I will title this post.  It is post Thanksgiving and I know I was present for the whole day, but still feel I missed it. Has that every happened to you? We create these scenarios of warm moments and meaningful connections and the day goes by uneventful and you are left worn out and longing for your bed. Plans were made.  Recipes gathered. Groceries bought. Verbal invites given. Still, my plan never stopped being planned. Do you ever miss the present? I do. I can get so caught up in a plan that carrying it out becomes more important than anything else...even people. After all, I did invite them. How was my focus so lost? It did not happen overnight, but over weeks of change in our house.
Somehow I lost October and November.  I see them on the calendar with a few scrawled words indicating appointments and birthdays, but days do pass into weeks and now I find myself on the doorstep of December. Time was eaten up with hospitals and doctors, phone calls and waiting rooms.  It really was and all the energy that was mine to spend as I wished was expelled on behalf of another. Nursing has never been my forte, but love makes the task much easier...that and the Lord reminding me of all the times he has cared so selflessly for me.
Tomorrow is trash day and as of late I am the bearer of all things heavy as Tommy recuperates from major surgery.  Such will my lot be until mid January. No complaints.  Just fact. Tonight as I hauled ten trash bags (yes, ten) to the curb, I could not help but notice my neighbors' trashes. One had one bag, the other two, and another with none at all.  How can these things be? (Suddenly I am reminded of Nicodemus in John 3 where he asks Jesus how can a person be born again.)
John 3:7-9  Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." Nicodemus said to him, "How can these things be?" 
Anyway, we are two people who hosted a mere seven others for Thanksgiving. Surely nine people can't generate ten bags of trash.  You would have thought I handed out the bags and said, "Fill 'em up!" We have always said we are the trashiest house on the block.
As I walked away from the bags, my thoughts slowly grazed over their contents. Lives are often revealed by the garbage they emit. There was love in those bags...like leftovers indicating we ate well and scraps from art projects created by my grandchildren. We made paper chains from old Christmas cards and my son painted his daughters' fingernails. We celebrated Bella's eighth birthday and she helped me make Chex Mix. The clock ticks whether or not we are mindful of it. What happened since we last looked at it? Life. It can't always be planned, much as we would like it to be so. Sometimes it just leads the way and we have no choice but to follow.

It consists of highs and lows, sorrows and laughter, productivity and wastelands.
Feet hurt, backs ache, eyelids beg for sleep that does not always come, yet it is all part of living and we are to take the pain that comes with the good.  We do not always get to choose our paths and how smooth they are nor do we decide every direction to take.  Still, it is what we do down the paths we did not choose that matters most...how we acted and reacted to the events around us.
This opportunity to carry my husband's loads only serves to remind me of how much he does for me all the time without complaint or grimace.  I can love him through this.  These bags are loaded with love for my husband, my children, grandchildren and our moms. We were blessed this Thanksgiving just by being together and we accumulated a bit of garbage just to prove it.

An Act of Rebellion That Changed the World

"At last meditating day and night, by the mercy of God, I began to understand that the righteousness of God is that through which the righteous live by a gift of God, namely by faith. Here I felt as if I were entirely born again and had entered paradise itself through the gates that had been flung open."  Martin Luther

People cling tightly to what they believe and it is lived out in how they behave, what their habits are and who they follow. It has been said that sometimes a little rebellion is good.

The following written in green is taken from the site "Christian History."

During his early years, whenever Martin Luther read what would become the famous "Reformation text"—Romans 1:17—his eyes were drawn not to the word faith, but to the word righteous. Who, after all, could "live by faith" but those who were already righteous? The text was clear on the matter: "the righteous shall live by faith." Luther remarked, "I hated that word, 'the righteousness of God,' by which I had been taught according to the custom and use of all teachers ... [that] God is righteous and punishes the unrighteous sinner." The young Luther could not live by faith because he was not righteous—and he knew it.

"At last meditating day and night, by the mercy of God, I ... began to understand that the righteousness of God is that through which the righteous live by a gift of God, namely by faith… Here I felt as if I were entirely born again and had entered paradise itself through the gates that had been flung open."

On the heels of this new understanding came others. To Luther the church was no longer the institution defined by apostolic succession; instead it was the community of those who had been given faith. Salvation came not by the sacraments as such but by faith. The idea that human beings had a spark of goodness (enough to seek out God) was not a foundation of theology but was taught only by "fools." Humility was no longer a virtue that earned grace but a necessary response to the gift of grace. Faith no longer consisted of assenting to the church's teachings but of trusting the promises of God and the merits of Christ.

It wasn't long before the revolution in Luther's heart and mind played itself out in all of Europe. 

It started on All Saints' Eve, 1517, when Luther publicly objected to the way preacher Johann Tetzel was selling indulgences. These were documents prepared by the church and bought by individuals either for themselves or on behalf of the dead that would release them from punishment due to their sins. As Tetzel preached, "Once the coin into the coffer clings, a soul from purgatory heavenward springs!"

Luther questioned the church's trafficking in indulgences and called for a public debate of 95 theses he had written. Instead, his 95 theses spread across Germany as a call to reform, and the issue quickly became not indulgences but the authority of the church: Did the pope have the right to issue indulgences?

Events quickly accelerated. At a public debate in Leipzig in 1519, when Luther declared that "a simple layman armed with the Scriptures" was superior to both pope and councils without them, he was threatened with excommunication.

Luther replied to the threat with his three most important treatises: The Address to the Christian Nobility,The Babylonian Captivity of the Church, and On the Freedom of a Christian. In the first, he argued that all Christians were priests, and he urged rulers to take up the cause of church reform. In the second, he reduced the seven sacraments to two (baptism and the Lord's Supper). In the third, he told Christians they were free from the law (especially church laws) but bound in love to their neighbors.

In 1521 he was called to an assembly at Worms, Germany, to appear before Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor. Luther arrived prepared for another debate; he quickly discovered it was a trial at which he was asked to recant his views.

Luther replied, "Unless I can be instructed and convinced with evidence from the Holy Scriptures or with open, clear, and distinct grounds of reasoning ... then I cannot and will not recant, because it is neither safe nor wise to act against conscience." Then he added, "Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me! Amen."

Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door of the Wittenberg Castle Church, thus changing/making history for the church.  What he did only conveyed what Scripture had already dictated.  The just shall live by faith.

I had missed two Sundays as I took care of Tommy who was recuperating from surgery. October 31 passed without this demonstration of rebellion for truth. So we 'nailed' our 95 theses to a door this past Sunday and thanked God for men who stand for truth.  That is all Martin Luther did.  He stood on God's truth and his convictions and thank God he did.

My class of first and second graders...in rebellion.

Addicus, a former student often comes by to relieve me of any unwanted snacks I might have left over.  He worked hard to help me finish nailing the papers.  And then I gave him Fun Dip!

Love this one.

As The Spider Spun Her Web...

As I opened my window shade, the sunlight and dew made this web glisten and I could not help but snap some pictures. 

Our country elected a new leader as this spider spun her web in the secluded corner of my backyard. No angry shouts of political rhetoric fell on her ears. (Do spiders have ears?) She missed it all, and yet it happened. The world changed, just as it does every single day.  No two days are alike, just as no two people are alike.  Our world is not at peace right now, but was it EVER? And the spider spun her web.
Proverbs 30:24-28  Four things on earth are small, but they are exceedingly wise: the ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer; the rock badgers are a people not mighty, yet they make their homes in the cliffs; the locusts have no king, yet all of them march in rank; the lizard you can take in your hands, yet it is in kings' palaces. 
The spider is not mentioned in these verses, but you get the point.  There are lessons to be learned by the behavior of simple creatures in nature.  They continue to do what they must do, regardless of the unpredictable actions and repercussions of the human race.
I will purpose to do each day all that God puts in front of me with joy and gladness and a right attitude (which sometimes needs work).  If I ever lose sight of the specifics of His call, then I must remember the verses that clearly define my roll in bringing Him glory.
James 1:27 - 2:1   Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.  
Hebrews 13:2-3   Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. 
The spider's web that begs to be knocked down remains as is...for now. It is a reminder to me to stay on task and do the next thing and be productive in a world gone mad.

When Real Life Intervenes...

I almost want to say 'we interrupt these political proceedings with every day, life changing events.' Politics rule the airwaves at present, daily growing in intensity.  One can only tolerate so much.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch - my husband went into day surgery for a simple hernia repair and two days later was re-admitted with paralyzed bowels, facing another surgery. Thankfully, the doctor waiting to operate chose to look further and after four days of tubes, IVs, drains, and many prayers, we were able to come home.  God is good.
I learned a lot during our stay and I want to share with you my observations and discoveries so then you can see and know all that I know....which actually isn't all that much as you will find out.

1. Did you know that hospitals use code words for emergencies that might be occurring as you walk through the halls minding your own business?  We were told this by an orderly as he pushed Tommy's bed into surgery on Monday. Over the speaker system we could hear a page for a certain doctor to go to a certain area and the call for him was relentless and urgent.  I commented on the incessant plea and he very calmly said, "Oh, that's not a real doctor.  That is code to let us know that there is something wrong in the building."
Me: "What?"
Him: "If we said there was something wrong with the building, you would panic."
Me: "So...like a fire?"
Him: "Well, our popcorn machine sets off the fire alarm all the time."
Me: "So I should not panic unless you panic?"
Him: "We don't panic...not allowed to."
Me: "So what if there is a real emergency?"
Him: "All codes have the word 'doctor' in them.  They all mean different things."
(All I am saying is don't believe what you hear over the speaker because you never know.)
2. Did you know that the ladies in the gift shop are working hard to solve the world's problems?  I must say I found myself in there on several occasions and they were always discussing the issues of the day. Who needs politicians?  I listened as they talked about AIDS, education, and what they were having for lunch. I smiled and told them to keep up the good work as I walked away with my purchases.
3. Did you know that hospitals use computers to talk to deaf people if an interpreter is not present?  As Tommy waited for surgery in what I would call a long line of unsuspecting and sedated victims, a girl came in who had been in an accident.  She was deaf. They had no way to talk to her so they wheeled in a computer with an advocate on the screen. The doctor would tell the advocate what to ask the patient using sign language and when the patient would sign back, the advocate would tell the doctor what she said.  It was very interesting. All the nurses crowded around to watch.
4. Did you know that three times a  a year England flies over two American football teams to play in their soccer stadium that seats about 90,000 people (way more than ours will seat) and it is packed to max with screaming British fans who love American football?  They pay a high price per ticket just to watch us play. Isn't that crazy?  We watched the game from Tommy's hospital room.  (It's not like I could overrule a wounded man in his time of need for entertainment, right? Besides, this was amazing to me. England going berserk over American football. Who knew?)
5. Did you know we had a nurse from Kenya?  Of course you didn't. How could you possibly know that?  But she and Tommy had something in common.  He had been to Kenya two years ago and she knew the village where he had visited. Her husband is a believer and they belong to a church here and the pastor of that church along with her husband went to one of the pastors' luncheons Tommy started a few years ago. Tommy had met her husband!
But that isn't the end of my story, nor is it the most important thing I want to share with you.
She told us that Americans are so unselfish. We both said, "What? Americans? Did we hear you right?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "But we are so spoiled."
She said, "You will sell your houses, your belongings, everything - to go and minister to the people in Africa. You give from what you have so that others might gain.  Where I come from, the people have nothing and what they do have, they cling to out of fear that it might be taken from them. When Americans are lacking in something, they figure out a way to fix it, they look elsewhere for an answer.  At home, the people just sit and wait.  There are no other resources for them and they will not share or help another person because they are afraid they will lose what they do have. 
When I go home, I tell them to think about how they can solve their own problems by working together and coming up with an answer."
She had kind things to say about our country. She said that everyone there thinks that money falls into Americans' hands. It doesn't - but it can be worked for. There is no encouragement to work for anything where she came from.
When she left the room, I said to Tommy, "It is hope. We have it. They do not."
We do.  I thought about it for awhile and she is right.  If something breaks, we figure out a way to fix it until it breaks again.  We make do whenever we can.
The world is in a mess.  Political agendas can help to make changes, but the real changes can happen without them.  It is an issue of the heart and mind.
Let's continue to 'figure it out'.  Let's not seek things for ourselves, but for others in need.  Let's 'sell all we have' and offer hope to the world. They are waiting.

Words and Meditation

My words are not always pleasing in His sight and if my words are unpleasing, then what I am meditating on or thinking about must be far less than pleasing for I am what comes out of my mouth.  My prayer today is that my thoughts will be steered toward Jesus and that what comes from my mouth will  be indicative of my love for Him.
It is what matters most. May He receive glory from me today.

Love is a Verb and a Noun...and a Weapon

When I was looking for this quote, I found that as many say it is a verb and not a noun as those that say it is a noun and not a verb. The emotional side of me would tend to heartily agree that love is a verb more than a noun...until recently. Yes, love is a verb. It is frequently misused and mistreated and misapplied as a verb. 

Skepticism and the desire to manipulate can cause us to add conditions to our love...as in "if you love me, you will..." or "I will love you if..."  Sometimes we do it without realizing it because the habit to try and control those around is second nature. My visible reluctance to do a favor might indicate a lack of love whereas stepping in to help another might give evidence of an unselfish love. We know love when we see it, but we also recognize when it is missing.

Love as a noun can be something we withhold or lavish on another. (I personally prefer being lavished with it by Tommy.)
I try to put love into all the baking I do for others.  It then becomes an ingredient...the most important one.  Sometimes love is seen in my hands as I dig in the dirt to allow life to bloom or as I bathe a grandchild or dust away cobwebs...which reminds me...

It is also a piece of clothing.  We can wear it.  We need to wear it so that all may see and know that we are God's for God is love.  He says so Himself.
1 John 4:16  So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 

'Love' is abused - both as a noun and a verb...especially as a verb.  We love coffee, we love flowers, we love shopping, we love vacations, and we love pens and paper..or maybe that's just me.

Love is a weapon.

I can fight my battles with ugliness, resentment, words that sting, and silence. My best weapon, however....my most effective weapon is love. Love moves big things.  Love changes people.  Love breaks down walls. Love wins.

Even if the outcome is different than what was desired, if love is the weapon, even the loser wins. Never underestimate its power.  It conquers evil every day.
Do it, wear it, fight with it. It is the solution to every problem, and the sweetest ending to every day. 

Breaking All Kinds of Ground

Recently I visited my son in Utah.  He lives in Salt Lake City. (I know I have already shared this with you, but I'm trying to make a point, so bear with me.) This is a far cry from the farms of Iowa where he used to live.  I have come to appreciate and love the uniqueness of each.
All through Kansas, Nebraska, and Iowa we would see cornfield after cornfield as we drove to see him.  They were beautiful. Every now and then a house would appear with a nearby barn.  I would always marvel at the modesty of the house - pristine, but plain.  The farmer's glory was in his crops which indicated how successful he was in maintaining their growth until it was time to reap. Nature plays such a huge part in bringing all to fruition, but the farmer must do his part first by starting with the right soil. He carefully plans, hoping for abundance. Every step he takes matters for the ultimate result.
Utah is mountainous and beautiful, but even in the valley the ground is hard and dry. The trees and brush that grow naturally among the rocky terrain are lovely, but drought resistant because humidity is so low. Soil enriched flower gardens and domestic potted plants must be watered daily in order to survive.
Many of the homes in town had an area of their yards sectioned off for vegetable gardening. It was a major investment to fill the bed with right kind of dirt, plant the seeds, and then care enough to oversee its progress for weeks to come.  The life of a farmer - urban or rural - is hard, but rewarding in the end.
1 Corinthians 3:6-8   I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. 
Paul is speaking here about the spreading of the gospel with the harvest being the souls of men. Breaking ground with people takes determination as well.  It is not always easy when dealing with flesh and bone. (For some of us, it is never easy.) Still, the seeds need planting. Sometimes 'people' ground is harder and more resistant to any kind of care that might be offered. We must not only reach out, but reach in. It might be easier to just throw some seeds at that rocky surface without any prep work at all, but no one gains anything by using this method.
The world is a dry and thirsty place. Cultivation is lacking all around us. Few are selfless enough to invest in others.
Matthew 13:23  "As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty." 
Our speech need not be perfect, but our love for Christ must be genuine and obvious.  The seed itself is the precious message of hope to a lost and dying world.  It must be fed, watered, and nurtured with truth and steadfastness. We must remember that only God brings forth life and growth.
1. plant - place a seed, bulb, or plant in the ground so that it can grow. Plant some seeds purposefully and not scattered to the wind.  God will do the prep work in the hearts. You just be the sower.
2. nurture - care for and encourage the growth or development of.  After planting the seeds, make yourself available for conversation, kindness, and minister as needed.  Invest.
3. harvest - the process or period of gathering in a crop.  Only God can do the harvesting.  After that, growth occurs, for it is only in dying that we live. 
John 12:24-25 Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 
I do believe God is calling us to farm.  His crops never fail. Take time to do a little sowing and then purpose to nurture and cultivate. God will do the harvesting.  You just watch and wait for that to happen.
If He calls us to farm, He will have a harvest.
Hosea 10:12  Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you. 
Sow some righteousness for yourself.  Reap some love as you dig deep into the word of God.  It is time to seek Him and farm.

Finding Jewels On the Beach

No, I did not find lost jewels as I walked Galveston's shoreline.  I found something worth much more. We have been on sabbatical for almost two months. For the first three weeks we made 'out of state' visits to see two of our children and our time with them was precious and good.  It was upon returning home that things went south...really south. I want to share it because we all go through difficult, rebellious days.  It even feels good and right to do so.  At the end of it all, I wrote down my personal insights and while they were nothing earth shattering, maybe they were jewels, after all.

When I went on my journey, God went with me.  Every choice I made was measured  by what He might want me to do.  My decisions were my own, but all of them were based on His call on my life. I was physically absent from what I can only call normal as we travelled from Texas to Utah to Ohio. It was a break from routine, for sure. The Lord was my constant - the anchor that helped me discern how best to serve my family.  We laughed through the memory making and I was able to read, write, and rest. My longing to be with my children had been somewhat appeased as we boarded the last plane for Texas.
Upon returning home, 'norm' showed up with its demands at my door and I ignored it and rejected it. "No," I almost said aloud, "not yet!"
"When?" it silently asked as that word fell on deaf ears. My ears were shut to routine and to God as well - the same God, Who went with me every step of the way and home again so I could resume His purposes for me here.  Only I did not like my purpose anymore.  Breathing different air had been a balm I did not realize I needed.  Vacations can be taxing, too.  I was exhausted, but in a good way - only so very reluctant to return to duty. "We. Are. Still. On. Sabbatical." I would say to myself.  How very selfish I felt inside...and ungrateful.
Someone generously gave us three days on the beach in Galveston not long after our last getaway. Again, my choices were mine to make, but there was no one else around, (except Tommy) to press in on my coveted seclusion.  It was like a salve to my soul. We walked on the shore every morning and evening. Often Tommy would sit and read as I steered myself toward the east and took off in search of oddities. (Believe me, they are there.)

There was no one in sight as far as I could see in either direction, so I could freely talk aloud with God.  The stain of selfishness made me ill and I did not want to remain in this condition. Sometimes we are prodigals of our everyday activities out of our need for spontaneity. Nothing wrong with that. I was however, rejecting His plan for me.
As I walked and talked, hot tears began to roll down my cheeks. He had given me this moment.  He planned to meet me here all along.  I was in real rebellion and He just kept blessing me.  God loved me through my self-centeredness and taught me more about Who He is.

I saw the never ending waves that broke relentlessly against the seashore, reshaping it again and again.  Sandpipers searched for food, sticking their beaks into the sand as the water retreated. Seaweed surrendered its life to the beach and the wind's constant gusts across the gulf would return again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.  God allowed me to see His handiwork all around me.  When I thought obedience would mean losing these moments of freedom, He showed me that the only bondage that held me captive was of my own making.

Sandpiper territory

His perfect design for me was freedom all along.  We are not free unless we are submitted to the Lord's best for us...not with eyes scrunched tightly and head nodding slowly, but with the peace that comes with a yielded heart, knowing that the Sovereign One can be trusted.
God could have disciplined me with a stern hand in order to get my attention.  I like this way better. Love is also a chastening tool.  It moves mountains.  The biggest ones lie in the heart of man.  I am on a new journey now: To love others to Christ - even when I disagree with everything they are doing, and how they may be acting.  I'm just gonna see what Love can do.  It worked on me.

Waiting On the Leaves

It's early September and though the leaves in south Texas will not turn until early November, I will wait and pretend in the meantime.  I wait every year.  Autumn's colors will arrive as anticipated and leave before I am ready. (I am never ready.)
In their stead, poor substitutes will suffice, inadequate though they be - appearing in odd places throughout my house and remaining until the season is over.  I have been known to shed a tear or two at their passing. Seriously. (Maybe that is an indicator of my maturity level and inability to accept change.)

My love for leaves began in the Fall of 1989 when visiting New England for the first time.  I have never been the same.  Thankfully, this beauty comes annually, though its grandeur is not matched in the deep South.  My memory is not so short it can't recall my breath being snatched from me at the sight of God's design for color in nature.  Its magnificence is forever in my heart. Pictures are unable to portray full splendor, but they do a pretty good job for me.

Inside this book are numerous
leaves I have collected and
preserved inside waxed pages. 

And sometimes an artist will capture
the season just perfectly...for posterity.

Is It Enough Just to Obey?

Thus says the LORD concerning this people: "They have loved to wander thus; they have not restrained their feet; therefore the LORD does not accept them; now he will remember their iniquity and punish their sins." Jeremiah 14:10

What if the task ahead of you yields no fruit...but for experiencing your own obedience to the Lord? What if instead of gratitude for a job well done, rejection is all you are offered, along with a determined attitude of rebellion?  This describes Jeremiah's dilemma.  He preached and preached God's word to the Israelites, only to be shunned by them, his words ignored, and his mission utterly futile...yet some of the most beloved scriptures of grace and hope are found in this book.

Sometimes we will work painstakingly on a particular project, envisioning the end result and when the end result arrives, it is less than desired - not bad - just less that what we were striving for and so we are undone.  Our focus is on the outcome, bypassing the lessons learned along the way.
Lives are lived with expectations of success.  We dream of better days and prosperity.  Some work years at one goal without ever achieving it. Isn't there something to be said for staying the course God calls us to, even if it means that we never see anything meritorious in the end?  Yes.  God loves obedience.  It is all He has ever asked us to do.  If we, like Jeremiah, give our bodies to be His vessels for use, then it is God's word that is at stake...not the value of our endeavors.  Let the gospel be the offense and not we ourselves. Let our message and our representation of Who Jesus is be all that matters and not whether or not we are heard.
When God calls us to live for Him without counting the cost - it is dangerous to decide ahead of time what the outcome should look like.  God in His omniscience already knows these things. Maybe the only outcome is the one found in the heart of the one committed to obey.

And maybe the only fruit of our doings is found on the inside.

I Have Learned to Accept the Seeds

I was sitting on the porch with my grandson Ricky (6) when his older sister brought him a shake.  He was eating sweet and salty popcorn as he sat on the railing.  The healthy concoction held little interest for him.
A neighbor two doors down was listening to an audio book while sitting in her car with the windows rolled down. Perhaps her car held the only CD player by which she could listen.  I could not tell the story line, but if I had been a little closer.  The words faded into the background.
Ricky continued to sip his drink and I continued to write my letter. ( I know. Who writes letters anymore? Well, me for one.)
He interrupted my train of thought with, "I would just like to pour the rest of this into the flower bed." I gave him a puzzled look. "But I have learned to accept the seeds in the bottom of my glass."
We all have 'seeds' in our lives that lay at the bottom of our glasses.  It's like accepting the bad that comes with the enjoyable...such as cleaning brushes after painting, un-decorating the house after Christmas, and simply doing the dishes after dinner - just to name a few.
Tossing our seeds aside will not help us at all, so just plant them.  Make them the worthwhile end to worthwhile events.  This is where life's decisions are made...in the leftovers.
So, what will you do with your seeds?  Enjoy them.  They come at the end of so many of our blessings.  Allow the seeds to be blessings, too.