This is just a blog about my thoughts, my family, my everyday life. Because I am a Christian and have ups and downs like everyone else, I hope it will encourage others to either turn to Christ for the first time, or lean on Him when times are rough. Often life is just random and funny. I started this blog after many years of writing to my church about our vacations. They began to encourage me to blog and finally I am. Thanks for reading.

"Behold, upon the mountains, the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace!" Nahum 1:15

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. John Piper

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Tackling the Closet and the Uh, Wardrobe Therein.

Okay, so my friend Marcy send me a link to a way to scale down my wardrobe.  Really?  I don't need a billion tee shirts? (see post "A Much Needed Change in Me")  I went to the site and though the girl that owns the blog could be my daughter and we are worlds (and decades) apart in style, I learned alot just from understanding her system.  She and I were not so different in our tastes in some things. Her budget was bigger than mine, but I know how to accommodate for things like that.  It's called 'thrift store shopping' a.k.a. 'better clothes on a budget'.  Some of my favorite skirts are second hand.
It's getting rid of the idea that "more is better and leads to variety and keeps me from wearing the same things over and over".  But it doesn't.  I have my favorites and I do wear them over and over, leaving the majority of my shirts, pants, skirts feeling very lonely and hanging out together in my closet.  I think they are forming a club of the 'left behinds'.  Out of rebellion they may decide to not fit so good the next time I try to wear them.  Hmmm.  I definitely need a plan of attack...on myself.
I just don't want to live this way anymore. My goal is simplicity...in it s simplest form.  Simple clothes for simple me.  Have I used the word 'simple' enough?  Do you get my point?
Having more makes getting ready for the day harder.  Too many choices and I already know which ones fit well and so I disregard the rest - ergo the Left Behind Club.  So, today is the day. Wish me success.  I am praying my way through this.
And by the way, the link to some freedom in this area is http://www.un-fancy.com/capsule-wardrobe-101/my-spring-2014-capsule-wardrobe/.  I also found "Small Notebook"  - http://smallnotebook.org/start-here/.  She attacks the home for organized thinking as well as the closet.
I do not know anything about these people, and I usually am reluctant to endorse, but their methods intrigued me and I will give it a whirl, praying all the while.)

Friday, April 24, 2015

A Much Needed Change In Me

We have recently made some changes in our household.  They were not made out of necessity, but stemmed from conviction in the heart.  Sometimes when we are forced to do something, bitterness and resentment set in.  This was an awakening.  A renewal of spirit and a willingness to shake our rugs of 'the mundane and routine' and really decide to operate differently...way differently.  I wish I could express the joy and contentment I have experienced from letting go.
It all began when Tommy and I were discussing finances.  (Lest you think we be needy, we ain't.) That is the point.  We are fine and extremely blessed.  We want for nothing.  I had been convicted for some time by the fact that I was not living sacrificially.  I denied myself nothing.  Don't get me wrong...I don't care about diamonds or luxury, but in my world of ordinary living, I did as I pleased. If I wanted a burger, I went and got one.  If I wanted some ice cream, I drove through and bought it. (Notice how I name the food items first.  Very telling.)  If I wanted to repaint my kitchen for the fiftieth time, I did.  I became sick and tired of my never ending fulfillment of my own list of desires - be they big or small - and the conviction was growing daily.
(Let me just say right here that I do not like writing "I" so much, but this is all about me, so please allow me this self-focused revelation story.  I promise the next post will be different.)
So... I went to my husband and confessed my self indulgence.  I recognized that I had not been a very good helpmeet to him in this area.  I asked him to forgive me and I asked God to forgive me.  It would take some time to let go of regrets, but not too long because God's mercies are new every day. He is all about new beginnings.  I love that.
Tommy agreed with me.  There is no way he was as guilty as I was, but we were one in our resolve to change.  We just want to be better stewards of what God give us.
The first thing we did was cancel all television.  We did not have cable, but just paid for basic.  We let it go, and kept internet only, enabling us to watch Netflix and Amazon if we so desire.  The next thing we did was sell my car.  That is an amazing story in itself because we thought we owed more than it was worth.  Tommy took it back to the dealer, who would give us X amount...and leave us still owing. He declined that offer and went to another place that sells used.  They gave us MORE than was owed!  He was shocked at their offer.  God is so good.  This was confirmation to us that we were on the right track.
I took inventory of my wardrobe in all of its glory.  It really isn't glory at all....just a billion tee shirts, shoes, and purses. Yes, I am exaggerating, but my discovery was: If I did not buy another piece of clothing, pair of shoes, purse, or jewelry until the day I died, I'd be fine...though I might have a need for undies.  Tee Hee.  So, that aside, I turned my focus to 'things'.  So many dishes, picture frames, candles, and more.  I donated my excess to my friend's garage sale and told her to keep the proceeds. I did not want to benefit from this purge.  That was not my purpose at all.
I can honestly say that I have not felt this free and full of certainty of direction in years.  I did not even know I wasn't free until I took the first step.  I yielded to the conviction.
We think twice before each purchase.  We say, 'no' to ourselves alot more...especially me.  My house is cleaner and uncluttered.  I am still making changes and modifying my lifestyle...to meet His approval.  This is a door that will remain open.  I see new things on the horizon.  Thank the Lord for His patience with me.  Thank Him for not leaving me where I was.  I am free.
P.S. I am going to try to journal ( Oh, yes....I have a box full of unused journals under the bed I forgot about!) all of the blessings that come from this.  There have already been more than we imagined. Our God is big.  He doesn't ask for much...just everything we own.



Wednesday, April 22, 2015

A Tale of Two Mothers...No, Three

When my kids were still under my roof, I spent some sleepless nights thinking, worrying, praying, creating plans of attack, mapping out my next move, dialoging with myself...all of the above - in order to win whatever argument needed settling, or put in order the events of the next day, or begin a system to build character...all within the realm of mommyhood. The lack of sleep only served to make me cranky and unable to appropriate whatever avenue I had chosen.
My children are grown now and you would think those restless nights would be a thing of the past. Am I still a mother with breath in her lungs?  I have thrown aside many of the cares that plagued me long ago, but once in a while those long nights come back home to roost. Moms seek to fix bobos, give guidance, and help out - no matter the ages of their children.
Okay, on with my mom tale...
I woke early last Sunday, having had little sleep the night before.  Too tired to get up, I decided to read my lesson one more time.  My passage was 1 Kings 2 - 3:14...but I kept reading.
King Solomon was a very wise king, simply because he desired wisdom over riches.  So, God gave him not only the wisdom he had asked for, but also much wealth, power, and victory over his enemies.
He also gave him discernment to judge between good and evil, right and wrong, as we see in the following story.

1 Kings 3:16   Then two prostitutes came to the king and stood before him.  17 The one woman said, "Oh, my lord, this woman and I live in the same house, and I gave birth to a child while she was in the house.  18 Then on the third day after I gave birth, this woman also gave birth. And we were alone. There was no one else with us in the house; only we two were in the house.  19 And this woman's son died in the night, because she lay on him.  20 And she arose at midnight and took my son from beside me, while your servant slept, and laid him at her breast, and laid her dead son at my breast.  21 When I rose in the morning to nurse my child, behold, he was dead. But when I looked at him closely in the morning, behold, he was not the child that I had borne."  22 But the other woman said, "No, the living child is mine, and the dead child is yours." The first said, "No, the dead child is yours, and the living child is mine." Thus they spoke before the king.  23 Then the king said, "The one says, 'This is my son that is alive, and your son is dead'; and the other says, 'No; but your son is dead, and my son is the living one.'"  24 And the king said, "Bring me a sword." So a sword was brought before the king.  25 And the king said, "Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other."  26 Then the woman whose son was alive said to the king, because her heart yearned for her son, "Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means put him to death." But the other said, "He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him."  27 Then the king answered and said, "Give the living child to the first woman, and by no means put him to death; she is his mother."  28 And all Israel heard of the judgment that the king had rendered, and they stood in awe of the king, because they perceived that the wisdom of God was in him to do justice.  

Oh, the boys and girls will love this one...especially the boys.
Then it struck me hard. I am a third mother in this tale.  My children are grown now.  No one is trying to steal them from me.  My ownership is of little value at this point, because I gave them away long ago.  (Something I have had to do again and again.) They are the Lord's and He will not draw His sword and split them with me as those who share a burger at lunch.  He doesn't want only part of what I own or think I own. He wants all of it.  If I want my kids to 'live' as the true mother in this scripture, then I must surrender.  I want them to really live. So I let go.
Scripture teaches us about who we are, right where we are...when we are not even looking for it.  I thought I had found an old story that would fascinate my class, but what I really found was the moral of my own story. It's all relative...I mean relevant...or both.
By the way, my Sunday School class loved the story.  Wisdom, obedience, riches, and victory make for a nice tale, but when I added in a squabble in the courtroom, it was icing on the cake.
And all Israel heard of the judgment that the king had rendered, and they stood in awe of the king, because they perceived that the wisdom of God was in him to do justice.  



Sunday, April 19, 2015

Full of Sap and Green

Psalm 92:14-15  They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the LORD is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. 

The righteous bear fruit in old age - EVER full of sap and green.  Is there a more youthful phrase indicating new life than 'sap and green?'  Gray hairs and wrinkled skin are a reminders to us that we have purpose every day.  We are to bear fruit for as long as we are here on earth.  Declare that the LORD is upright and there is no unrighteousness in Him!  God speaks of bearing fruit throughout scripture without ever mentioning an age limit.
It's so easy to put yourself on the shelf as you get older.  Where is the value in that?  When we are of no more use to the Lord, then He will take us home.  Until then, get busy!  Someone needs encouragement, someone needs a kind word, and there are those who just need someone to listen to them.
Colossians 1:9-10  And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.
Be full of sap and green!  Tell someone how good God has been to you.  They need so desperately to hear it.  You need to share it.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

A Big Pile of Puke

I am painting a picture of the things we want no one to see - the hidden secrets of our hearts that we fear will make us unaccepted, if they become known.  Our baggage and trash.  We all have it, some more than others, and all of it helps make us who we are.
Matthew 15:18  But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 
Yesterday, someone approached me about family relationships and we discussed our dads. My dad died long ago, but hers is still living.  I received a call today from another girl with similar issues.
I said, "Your family see the real you.  It's as if everyone vomits the worst of themselves in the middle of the floor...and then they stand around and say, 'Oh. Wow. What are we going to do with that?'" No one wants to identify its contents.
She said, "EXACTLY!  That's it!"
It's every one's puke, all mixed together, indistinguishable as to which portion belongs to which rightful owner.  And it's yucky.  Remember, it's the worst...the ugliest words, sins, intentions, etc. The shame is huge and revolting, but it is outed truth.  It needs to be cleaned up and dealt with. Fingers once pointed at one another, are now lowered because the fact is - no one is innocent. Actually, this is a starting place...leading to something better, healing, productive, glorifying. Sometimes all it takes is one person leaning down with a rag and some cleaner for others to respond in kind.
These trials with siblings, parents, children, cousins, aunts, uncles (you can fill in your own blank) are designed to make us more like Christ.  They are not without purpose or else they would not be happening.  If you are the one struggling the most, I challenge you to look inward and ask God what He would have you do.  Remember, these are the things that shape us.
Life is messy, at best.  When the worst leaks out, it's downright impossible for us to deal with it on our own. Why do we wait until we are at the end of our ropes before seeking the Lord's help?  That's where He is by the way - at the end of our ropes...with a rag and some cleaner.
Psalm 38:18   I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin. 
1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 


Sunday, April 12, 2015

David and Who?

My Sunday School lesson for first and second graders was on David and Bathsheba.
I wrote on the board 'David and ____.'
They shouted, "Goliath! Jonathan!"  I then wrote 'Bathsheba.'
Hannah, my co-worker said, "You're not really going to teach that, are you?"
"I have to," I replied, "and you better back me up on this."
So, we began our story. (2 Samuel 11-12)
"It was springtime when kings usually go to war.  Kind of like our weather now, though I'm not sure why it was a time to fight."  (I looked at Hannah.)
She said, "I guess they are cooped up all winter and need to break out."
(I am thinking, 'it's a guy thing.  They always just want to go kill something.')
Me:  Yes, probably.  King David sent Joab and his servants and most of the people to battle the Ammonites, while he stayed in Jersualem.  Now it was late afternoon and David went walking on the roof.  He saw a beautiful woman bathing across the way.
My class - all 16 of them:  What???  Did he really?
Me:  Yes, and he asked someone who she was.  Her name was Bathsheba.  Learning that her husband was at war, he sent for her to come and see him and he loved her.  (At this point, Elijah put his fingers in his ears. Remember, these are six and seven year olds.)  And she went home and after a while, she discovered she was going to have David's baby.
Abby:  Wait a minute.  How did she know it was his baby and not her husband's?
Me:  Because her husband was away at war.  This was not a one day war.  It took a long time.
Abby:  I'm confused.  If she was married to Uriah, then how...
Me:  I know, Abby.  Ask your mom when you are older.  (Hoping that would satisfy her, I pressed on.) When David heard she was going to have a baby, he panicked and thought of a plan.  He called Uriah home, hoping he would spend time with his wife.  He asked Uriah how the war was going and all about the fighting.
Then I asked the kids if they had ever been nice to someone in order to work out an evil plan.  They all nodded, except for Alizabeth.  I told her she had done it, too.  Everyone has been nice in order to get what they wanted at some point in his/her life.
Me:  David tried to get Uriah to go home to his wife, but Uriah was a faithful soldier and would not 'have a party' while his men were fighting.  Finally, David sent a letter to Joab telling him to put Uriah on the front line of the war.
I then gave them an example.  "I am an Ammonite.  You guys are the Israelites.  Who will get killed first if I am shooting arrows or something?"
Class:  The ones closest to you.
Me:  Right. So those up front will die first.
Stevie:  Yea, but I think all of us could take you.
Me:  Don't bet on it.
So, we finished the story and then I asked, "What sins did David commit with his eyes, mouth, hands, feet, etc?"
I have to say, we have been covering the ten commandments and they nailed his sins.  "Adultery! Lying!  Stealing Bathsheba!  Murder!  Not loving God first!  Coveting!"  I was very proud of them for being able to quickly recognize the sins.
Then I told them that David repented and became a man after God's own heart.  I asked them why this was such good news for us.  They had to think a minute.  I answered my own question.  "If God can fogive David and make him clean again after doing all he did, then God can make us clean, and we too, can have hearts fashioned for Him."
I love my class. They get it.
And I am sure that Abby and her mom will have a discussion of some sort later today.




Friday, April 10, 2015

Just To Make Me Smile


As I shared before, I have been working in the yard.  Mind you, I am not killing myself over this, though sweating some pounds would be beneficial, but I am making a slow stab at a fast growing mess.  Weeds love my yard.  Actually I think they love any yard, except those belonging to mean people who put weed killer out.  I have not been that industrious thus far, hoping that my grass will overcome on its own.  Does that ever happen?
Oh, well.  Today I spotted a beauty springing forth in yonder bed that has not yet been weeded.  They return each year without fail, to make me smile and think of my friend JoRonda, who gave me the bulbs from her yard many moons ago.
The clover is especially lovely as well, growing throughout the monkey grass.  Yes, it is a weed, but it makes me smile, too.
It's in the beholder's eye, you know.  Someone once told me that a weed was something you did not want growing in a certain place. These weeds are welcome, at least for now. Aren't they beautiful? My Father gave them to me...just to make me smile.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Covering Up





I have been doing some spring cleaning and weeding out...both inside and out.  Tommy and I spent some time in the yard these past few evenings, pulling up diseased bushes and replanting healthy ones. He did all the digging and I did all the shopping and delegating. Works for me.  No, really I did all the replanting and mulching all the while keeping a close eye to make sure he did not pass out on the lawn.  He will turn sixty-five in August and almost everyday in the mail, there is a healthcare brochure reminding him of his impending milestone. We are not spring chickens anymore.  I digress.
Inside the house, I am touching up walls, baseboards, doors, and molding with fresh paint.  In the process I made a discovery.  White paint covers dust and fingerprints quite nicely.  If only we could cover our sin this easily.  After all, doesn't Jesus wash us 'white as snow?'  Won't our garments be clean and sparkly?  Hmmm.  Yes, but only after repentance and forgiveness take place.  I became convicted.  I am covering up dirt on the wall that I am too lazy to wash off.  Those magic erasers work really easy on things like this, often eliminating the need for paint.  I stopped and changed my game plan.
We often cover up our sins that way, too - burying them beneath good works, polite actions, and sweet words or calling them mistakes and making lame excuses (that no one believes), rather than confessing to the One who makes all things new every day with His mercies...no paint needed at all. No one sees our ugliness on the inside but God.  It gets pretty nasty in there - all that dust and grime covering more dust and grime.
Spending a little time with a sponge and bucket of sudsy water would be best for my house.
Spending time before the Lord will work wonders for me.
Psalm 32:5  I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. 
Revelation 3:5  The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels.