This morning when Tommy was leaving for work, he threw an envelope at me and said, "We have new church credit cards. Don't forget to activate yours and tear up your old one."
I know it is just a little inconvenience, but I do not like doing things like this. Red tape makes me nuts. (I remember when we took in my niece Jana and nephew Denny after their father died. Because we received Social Security as their legal guardians, Tommy said I had to save EVERY receipt in order to prove that we are not spending their money wrongly should we ever be audited. These were the days when everything was done checkbook style and a check registry was not good enough. I completely rebelled at that and said I would not do it....as I attached a ziploc bag to the refrigerator to drop the receipts in for the next nine years. BTW - Jana and Denny are our children, daughter and son to us.)
Anyway....back to my story. I opened the envelope and called the number to activate the new card. Everything is automated and done by pushing buttons on the phone...you probably knew that, and that was what I was anticipating. When the computer voice asked me to enter the last four digits of my social security card, I went blank. The numbers were there swimming around in my head, but they came out wrong. I am sure that somewhere on the other end of that phone, a red light went off and perhaps an alarm - something akin to the sound a submarine makes when diving to avoid collision. Haven't you ever seen Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea? Immediately I was talking to a real person.
A sweet young lady was on the line.
She: How can I help you?
Me: I am trying to activate a card.
She: Let's see, can you tell me that last 4 digits of your SS card?
Me: Yes. ____. (getting it right this time) I am sixty years old and I just forgot it.
She: That happens to me, too. Okay. What is the name on the card?
Me: (Yes, I do know who I am and I got this one right.)
She: Who is the primary card owner?
Me: Providence Baptist Church. Robert Thomas Dahn - He is my husband and the pastor. He goes by Tommy. I go by June. We both go by our middle names...I don't know why, we just do. (Hint: when I get nervous, I tend to talk a lot. I am easily intimidated by those in authority, even if they sound like a high schooler, which she did.)
She: Hmmm. All of the answers you are giving me are wrong. So, I am sorry, I cannot activate your card.
Me: (Well, his name IS Tommy and my name IS June and he is the pastor, and....I am thinking, it is like a puzzle and I need the right code word...suddenly I remember who is in charge of this.)
Oh, I forgot...it is ____________ ______________.
She: Okay. I still need to verify.
Me: He is an elder in our church and he is an astronaut.
She: Okay. And what are the last 4 digits of his SS card?
Me: (Really?) I do not know. Why would I know that? He is in Russia right now.
She: We take international calls. Can you have him call us or find someone who has this information?
Me: (Oh, sure. I will call him and tell him to call you and give you this information while he is training in Russia to go to the international space station. You bet.) No. Never mind. I just won't do any shopping for the church.
She: Well, I am really sorry I can't help you.
Me: Do not worry about it. It is my fault.
The moral of this story is...well, actually there is no moral. There is just me...left without access to the church's vast amount of cash flow. Since Vacation Bible School is over, I don't really care. The End.
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