We are not supposed to compare ourselves with others, but instead set for ourselves a higher standard - One without flaw or imperfection. Still, I look at others in their walks of faith and I am shamed. Why can't I be steadfast and true? Why am I so slow to conform to what is right every day? Am I SO rebellious that I fight against what is good and perfect? Why is my devotion so haphazard and spotty? Grrr.
You would think that if I am aware of my own inconsistencies, I could change, right? Not so. It just doesn't happen that way. I can't help but think that it is the undivided and steadfast hearts that have God's ear. That just makes sense to me. I see their prayers get answered more often than mine. I see their faithfulness rewarded time and again. And...wouldn't I, as well listen to someone who talked to me and worshiped me every single morning at the same time, before they did anything else? Especially if they put nothing before me? Except, we as humans tend to neglect and take for granted those devoted to us. We 'ho-hum' and grow to expect the attention. And...isn't it the squeaky wheel that gets the attention? Isn't it the unable child that needs the focus?
Then again, maybe it is the needy one that recognizes his great need for a Savior and acknowledges that he can do nothing at all without first going to the One with all the answers. That just sounds right.
I know I have choices and I will answer for them someday. I don't want to take that lightly, but I seem to at times do just that. Its reality to me ebbs and flows.
I am working to eliminate pride. It is a tough battle. Maybe by voicing my own struggles, I can humiliate myself to its death. Possibly.
Maybe I should quit writing down and confessing my wayward habits and read and pray instead. Now, there's a thought.
Tell me I am not the only one. There I go comparing again.
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