Why Is It So Hard to Die?

Romans 7:22-25  For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.  

Why is it so hard to kill self?  No matter how hard I try, it is like the germ that thrives 'in spite of' and for which there is no vaccine now or ever…on this earth.  Self exists for reasons good and bad...mostly bad. It resurrects after every attempt at murder that has been thrust upon it.  No matter how hard I try, it just Will. Not. Die.

God said it first.  It is in my heart to look out for myself at all costs.  I am born in sin. 

Romans 3:9-12  For we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under the power of sin, as it is written: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one." 

Thankfully, my gracious, merciful Maker gave me an out; a ‘get out of jail’ card if you will - a way to be free of pride, selfishness, and self-centeredness and this Gift cost Him everything.

Perfection is to be my Standard in the person of Jesus Christ.  The flaw, the sin nature I share with Adam will forever be with me until I go to the Father.  Inside me dwells the new nature, coexisting with the old. I battle every single day. Some days bring white flags of giving up and other days I am able to overcome, but every skirmish is designed by my loving Father who is making me into the image of His Son.  It is a painful process.  It’s that self…that part of me who loves and looks out for my own well being, my reputation, my desire to appear holy when I am anything but…that self is my enemy.  Self is often disguised; wearing many faces, but always recognizable in the end. 

I am ambushed by pride.  Dying to it is an endless, every day event that persists as I attend church, hug my kids, serve others, wash dishes.  Would that I could just die. And yet.

Every defense imaginable is available to me as a Christian.  I am fully equipped to face the enemy within. My sword pierces and wounds with the truth and righteousness of God’s holy word.  Where and when I fall, He picks up and fights on my behalf if I do not grow weary, but instead persevere for His name’s sake.

So, I will fight again today. I intend to use all the strategies I can find when encountered by the enemy.  When tired, I will call for help, knowing and believing I do not war alone, for He is forever by my side.  

I will take heart.  I will be encouraged.  He who is faithful will remain so until my battle is over.

1 Peter 2:9-12 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. 

I must end this post with the next verses that follow the first verses I posted.  It is what matters most.  It is everything.

Romans 8:1-4  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.