Last week was my first of several weeks to come that I committed to go to the prison and help teach in a dorm room. My friend Linda goes on a regular basis and tried to answer my 'ahead of time' questions, but nothing can take the place of jumping in feet first and hoping your mind and heart follow...and that you will have something to offer the women other than a blank look as you acclimate to the atmosphere in the room.
I'm not good at first impressions as it takes me awhile to figure things out. Thankfully, these women welcomed me with sweet smiles and open hearts. It was quite different from teaching in the chapel. As my friend put it, we were on "their turf" now. Still, I saw nothing but women seeking love and acceptance and ways to change old habits and repeated behaviors. Aren't we all seeking that?
Central inside the dorm is a round room with dark windows that allows observation of the rooms around it. "Big Sister" was watching. I was curious about how things operate and what is tolerated, but only time would teach me the ropes. We are not supposed to touch the inmates, but there are occasional hugs and prayers with hands held and no opposition rises.
My I.D. stays visible at all times, pinned to my shirt. I make sure the sign up sheet is signed, they hand me their homework, and I pass out more - with an apologetic look at the length of the assignments. We can give them no pencils to keep or staples in the papers, or paper clips to hold them together. We do give folders when we see that they are diligently studying and returning to class. (Some drop out or lose interest or get transferred or released.) Twice during our visit, guards came in to 'take count' in which they call out bed numbers and the ladies respond accordingly. If count does not match, everything stops until it does. (Our class has been delayed many times in the chapel when that has happened and we had to wait until all was clear.)
There were 30 in the room that day, and some sat in the floor close to the front - for the two hour stay. Two hours. They listen well and interrupt at times with questions while others remain quiet the whole time. A slight altercation arose in which two inmates exchanged some differing opinions and I watched Linda to see her response. After they calmed down, she started right where she left off, without comment or taking sides. I asked her later what we should do if a fight broke out and she said, "Nothing. The guards are always watching. There is no need to do anything." The two ladies did not argue again and the class remained attentive.
There were tears and laughter, the same as if you were sitting in any room of women anywhere else in the world. But they are not free to leave. Many of them are released only to return again after time has passed.
My prayer is a selfish one. I desire to be used by God, changed by God, and have the mercy and love of God as I am just another woman in the room seeking love and acceptance. Let me be His light, offering His freedom to all who will trust in the name of His Son Jesus. I can't think of a better reason for me to be there.
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