While On My Patio...

I am sitting on my patio today, grading prison homework.
It isn't that their answers are right or wrong, but sometimes they just copy each other (frowned upon) and sometimes they just need a word of "pink" encouragement, as I draw smiley faces and hearts.
My yard looks like trash, by the way.  My rabbit and snail statues peek at me through the weeds and say, "Can you see us?"
"Barely," I answer.
An unfamiliar soccer ball sits in the grass.  Not sure of its owner, but there it is.
My chimes make beautiful music without rhythm. I love them and find comfort in their awkward symphony.
Earlier today I was trying to add Google calendar to my life. Someone told me it would help me. Google. What a ridiculous name. After several hours, extreme frustration overtook me and I decided to toss my laptop on top of my compost pile and stir it in vigorously with a pitchfork, except...I don't have a compost pile or a pitchfork.  Sigh.  Hence the retreat to the patio.
Suddenly a mockingbird appears on the fence.  He makes every noise imaginable, saying. "pull your weeds, pull your weeds - I need water, I need water - trim your bushes, trim your bushes - cut your grass, cut your grass."  I want to shoot him.
Before long he is gone and I'm left with reminders ringing in my ears.  But maybe I am wrong. Maybe he was saying, "sit and rest, sit and rest - feel the sun, feel the sun - hear me sing, hear me sing - there's always tomorrow, there's always tomorrow."
Yes. That's his song. I'm sure of it.

                             

Well-Being and Calamity

Isaiah 45:7  I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, who does all these things.
My God creates light and darkness, well-being and calamity.  Praise His holy name for it!  I can know that circumstances do not dictate His Presence and control over all that happens. We may not like it, but either He is God over all or God incomplete.
He is always ruling, always watching.  He never looks away nor does He miss any event.  Our God does not sleep.
Psalm 121:3-4  He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 
He ordains and allows things...all for His glory and purpose. These are hard statements, but true none the less.  Ephesians 1:22 -23 And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.  
Did He only see when Sarah was giving birth to Isaac and look away when David lost his newborn child?
Did He turn His back on Job who was a righteous man and did Job suffer greatly for no reason?
Is He patient and loving only when we are good?  Does our behavior dictate His grace and mercy? Emphatically no.
There is none good, no not one.  Psalm53:1-3 The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, doing abominable iniquity; there is none who does good. God looks down from heaven on the children of man to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all fallen away; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one. 
All we like sheep have gone astray... Isaiah 53:6   All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Last Sunday was Valentine's Day...you know - the day we give cards to people?  I had a big party planned for my first grade class, but, and a big ALAS, I caught a bug.  Not the creepy crawly kind, except yes, the creepy crawly kind, only inside me.  I was sick all night and unable to attend church. My back-up team (Hannah and Michele) took over and the party was a wonderful success. (happy face goes here, I guess)  Andy taught and all had a blast as I was home 'dying' while wearing the corsage Tommy bought me pinned to my pajama top. Pitiful me. Why this day? I worked so so hard on those handmade valentines with sweet verses on them and suckers attached. (Tommy delivered all the goodies on my behalf, but still.) During my three days of taking it easy, God showed me these verses.  Sometimes I need illustrations like this to learn things.
Man is basically interested in...well, man. Surprising as that may seem, (ahem, cough) we are often our own worst enemies as we think the world should cater to our moods - which are constantly in the process of changing according to what happens in the world around us.
BUT.  What if we began to see that God is in control of everything, and that we are here to do His will, not our own?  What if we acknowledged that God is God, that He alone is good, and that we can trust Him with everything - good and bad?  We must first trust in His Son Jesus as Savior. Why? Because He said so.
John 3:17  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.
John 3:19   And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil.
It's like He said....
Isaiah 45:7  I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, who does all these things.

Seeing Souls

I was in a group discussion the other night and the topic was how best to relate to the ever growing spectrum of people in our world.  I guess there has always been an ever growing spectrum of people in the world, but today the pendulum's swing covers an even a wider range of differences, while also covering lesser ground.  In other words, the world is getting smaller and the issues of the day are knocking on our doors. People claim the right to be individuals, all while wanting to be united with those who are like-minded, forming isolated clubs in order to establish, maintain, and grow in popularity and admiration.
Opinions fly in all directions. Podiums and microphones could not elevate the voice any higher than what is offered on the Internet. Anyone can say anything and have it posted for the world to see...if the world is interested in seeing.  Each voice drowns out the other with its demands to be heard and validated and validation gives the stamp of not just approval, but acceptance.
So, is it possible for everyone to give affirmation to everyone else?  How can every side of every argument be right? Just as an agreement is made on one issue, another rises for debate.
Thus it shall ever be. Man beats his chest, makes his claims, and demands his right to be...heard. People just want to be heard.  So...why not listen?
Gender identification, politics, religion, race, abortion, adoption, childhood immunizations, parenting methods, divorce, and marriage - all topics worthy of discussion.  Maybe we ought to look at them in a different light.  Mind you, I have opinions and prejudices towards what I think is right, but separating people into categories and sub-categories is not Christ-like.
Jesus saw souls...and He taught His disciples to see souls.  His message was plain and simple: Man is in need of a Savior. Let's strive to see the person and not the agenda he pushes. Let's look past the exterior and listen to the heart. Man is desperately seeking someone to listen.  Make sure your words are worth hearing and instead of seeing issues, see souls.

Messy Living

Isaiah 43:2  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you..."  
Sounds awesome but, what if the waters are self made?  What then?  What do we do when we find ourselves in the middle of a mess that we created?  Those waters can run pretty deep, too.
Life is just messy and none of us are very good at it anyway, even on our best days.  I had a bad day yesterday.  I don't usually share my bad days, but maybe you had one, too.  Just when I thought I was tackling the next thing on my list, interruption interrupted and my choices went downhill from there.
If only I had been prepared for it, right?  I hashed, rehashed, and hashed again the situation before me until my time was consumed. Tick. Tock.  All of a sudden my day had ended with no solution, much sinfulness, and deep sadness on behalf of another.  The thing is...it was not my problem - not really - and I didn't know the source of the problem.  (Well, yes I did: It was me.)
I shifted from focusing on what the Lord wanted for me, to what I wanted for me: peace. However, as long as this issue was what filled my head, it became my idol and stood between me and the Lord.
And by the way, the Lord wanted peace for me too, but 'I' felt I needed more information before my peace would come and the Lord's peace was mine for the asking - only my thoughts were held captive by sin.
Most of the time, we do not see pain coming.  And sometimes we bring it on ourselves and sometimes it is both. Pain is unavoidable. Good things (or bad things) can grow out of it, but it is up to us to decide our mindset.
2 Corinthians 10:4-6  For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete. 
At the end of the day, I repented and prayed and slept in peace.  I woke with peace as well.  Today is better and though my heart still aches, it is in the Lord's hands - right where I want it.  Life is messy. Expect it.  If yours involves people as mine does, get ready. I am sure there are times that you and I are someone else's mess and pain.
God never abandons us, even when we our focus is on wrong things that lead us to the destruction of our time, energy, and peace.  Gain some wisdom from my bad example.
(You may have thought I was going to give you an answer to your messy life.  I did.  I even underlined it in red.  Go back and read.)

Out Of the Chapel and Into the Dorm

Last week was my first of several weeks to come that I committed to go to the prison and help teach in a dorm room.  My friend Linda goes on a regular basis and tried to answer my 'ahead of time' questions, but nothing can take the place of jumping in feet first and hoping your mind and heart follow...and that you will have something to offer the women other than a blank look as you acclimate to the atmosphere in the room.
I'm not good at first impressions as it takes me awhile to figure things out.  Thankfully, these women welcomed me with sweet smiles and open hearts.  It was quite different from teaching in the chapel. As my friend put it, we were on "their turf" now.  Still, I saw nothing but women seeking love and acceptance and ways to change old habits and repeated behaviors.  Aren't we all seeking that?
Central inside the dorm is a round room with dark windows that allows observation of the rooms around it. "Big Sister" was watching.  I was curious about how things operate and what is tolerated, but only time would teach me the ropes.  We are not supposed to touch the inmates, but there are occasional hugs and prayers with hands held and no opposition rises.
My I.D. stays visible at all times, pinned to my shirt. I make sure the sign up sheet is signed, they hand me their homework, and I pass out more - with an apologetic look at the length of the assignments.  We can give them no pencils to keep or staples in the papers, or paper clips to hold them together.  We do give folders when we see that they are diligently studying and returning to class. (Some drop out or lose interest or get transferred or released.) Twice during our visit, guards came in to 'take count' in which they call out bed numbers and the ladies respond accordingly.  If count does not match, everything stops until it does. (Our class has been delayed many times in the chapel when that has happened and we had to wait until all was clear.)
There were 30 in the room that day, and some sat in the floor close to the front - for the two hour stay. Two hours. They listen well and interrupt at times with questions while others remain quiet the whole time.  A slight altercation arose in which two inmates exchanged some differing opinions and I watched Linda to see her response.  After they calmed down, she started right where she left off, without comment or taking sides. I asked her later what we should do if a fight broke out and she said, "Nothing. The guards are always watching. There is no need to do anything." The two ladies did not argue again and the class remained attentive.
There were tears and laughter, the same as if you were sitting in any room of women anywhere else in the world.  But they are not free to leave.  Many of them are released only to return again after time has passed.
My prayer is a selfish one. I desire to be used by God, changed by God, and have the mercy and love of God as I am just another woman in the room seeking love and acceptance.  Let me be His light, offering His freedom to all who will trust in the name of His Son Jesus.  I can't think of a better reason for me to be there.